i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
please don't ironically join a cult
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