Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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