what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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