Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
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It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
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We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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