Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
