i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
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He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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