THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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