Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
