I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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