Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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