She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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