No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Enjoy the penises
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
