I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
