East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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