I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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