I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
