nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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