I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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