I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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