The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize