Duck Duck Cougar?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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