he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
