She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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