remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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