Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
