A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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