Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
her vagine was all disorganized.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
