I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
