Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
