Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need to calm my uterus...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
