He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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