If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
