I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
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Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
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I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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