I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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