never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
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He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
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There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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