I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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