Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
