is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
