So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I want a musical about memes.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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