I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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