My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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