I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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