I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
