I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
