I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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