she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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