They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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