We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
