i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
