How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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