i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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