I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
God gave him joint rollers for hands
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
