hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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