not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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