How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.