the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.