I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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