I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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