Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize